I love the films of David Lynch, so was really saddened to hear of his death recently. His films offered me a way out of the ‘real’ into the wonders and darkness of the ‘unreal’. Life is often mysterious and unexplainable, and Lynch managed to capture that on film. The way he spoke about making films reminds me of therapy at times, for example: “Stories have tangents; they open up and become different things. You can still have a structure, but you should leave room to dream. If you stay true to your ideas, filmmaking becomes an inside-out, honest kind of process. And if it’s an honest thing for you, there’s a chance that people will feel that, even if it’s abstract.” Therapy too has both structure and space to dream. Therapy is honest, and sometimes the journey seems abstract. Sometimes we have to follow the white rabbit down, down to unknown places. I wrote the post below before Lynch died, but it felt appropriate to start here. Down we go.
Dream theories
I have always loved sleeping, and the science behind sleep and dreaming. There are many theories about why we dream. From forming memories, and rehearsing emotional situations, to ‘tidying up’ the brain. REM sleep is associated with better problem-solving abilities the following day. It also seems to provide emotional convalescence, almost acting like overnight therapy as a way to process painful emotions. If I dream about a specific event that’s causing me difficulty (e.g. a death in my family) it seems to be easier to resolve these feelings than if I dream about something else.
Dreams are a way of making sense of what has happened during waking hours. So if something stressful has happened, or if a worry is on my mind as I go to sleep it may result in nightmares. If I’ve experienced grief or trauma it may be that difficult dreams get stuck on a loop, replaying the same scene over and over.
Dream trains
I am waiting for a train, but the station is huge, with impossible platforms that can’t be reached. I’m carrying so much luggage, it’s too bulky for me to carry and there’s no-one here to help. Everything I try to do is as if I’m walking through treacle, it’s a huge effort to walk and running isn’t an option. I can see my train ahead of me but I’m on the wrong platform. The way to get there is over a bridge filled with people, and I have to decide which bags I take with me and which I leave behind, or I’ll miss the train. I try to cry out for help but my voice is too quiet.
Gestalt therapy offers a way of working with dreams that I’ve found helpful myself, and when working with clients. It works on the assumption that each object, person or creature in a dream represents a different ‘part’ or aspect of myself. There’s no universal interpretation of this in Gestalt therapy. So the appearance of a train disappearing into a tunnel doesn’t necessarily mean I’m thinking about sex. Instead the interpretation is done by the dreamer, with guidance from the therapist. The client first talks through the dream from start to finish. Then again, and again, from different perspectives of people or objects within the dream. From the example above I could talk through my dream again from the train’s perspective, or from one of the bags I’m carrying. The idea is that all aspects of the dream are a part of me. So listening to these different aspects of the dream will help me develop a fuller awareness of my self. Speaking from those perspectives can access emotions or different aspects of myself that may have been difficult to reach otherwise.
I am a heavy bag. I am full of important things, and yet I am scared that I might be left behind, abandoned. If I’m left here I could be taken by a stranger, opened up and exposed to the world, torn apart. In making myself too full I might have made him late, and I feel guilty. I need to hold all this weight, no-one else can or will. But to be left behind would be the worst. I need help to move.
In therapy I would encourage the person I’m working with to talk from as many perspectives as they feel comfortable. I would then ask them to talk through the dream again from their original viewpoint. Lastly, I would ask them to imagine a better outcome to the dream and then to talk it through one final time with this new ending.
I am waiting for a train, the station is huge, with difficult to reach platforms. I have a large amount of luggage, which are all very important to me. It takes a huge effort to walk. I can see my train ahead of me but I’m on the wrong platform. The way to get there is over a bridge filled with people, and I’m worried I won’t catch my train. I look around me and catch a young man’s eye, and am able to gesture to my luggage. He nods and helps me with my bags, and with his help I manage to board the train just in time.
Exploring a dream in depth like this can be a helpful experience for some. Gestalt doesn’t take the perspective that certain objects or people in the dream represent certain universal drives, like Freud or Jung. Therefore it is not for the counsellor to interpret someone else’s dream. Instead each of us will have unique relationships with the people and objects in our dreams. So as a therapist I can guide a client through their own interpretation of the meanings and emotions involved. This can sometimes take up a whole session, or spill over into two or more.
Dream dialogues
As ever I believe the therapeutic relationship can act as a vessel towards healing. Partly this is because we are relational beings. Relationship is the source of our wounding, so what better way to heal than through relationship. Therefore, I believe therapy is the best place to engage in dream work. However, you could interpret your Gestalt dream alone by entering into a “dialogue” with each “part” of your dream (the train, the bag etc). This would involve writing down the dream, in as much detail as possible, including any sensations or feelings you remember. Then take each ‘part’ of the dream and write about it from the first person, using ‘I’. Once you’ve written from the perspective of each part, you could form dialogues between them. The luggage could speak to the train, for example. If this sounds weird, it’s because it is! Going through this process won’t be for everyone. But if you’re open to something new it can be really helpful in unlocking different aspects of yourself, and in processing trauma or difficult experiences.
I’ve noticed periods in my life when I don’t remember any of my dreams, and other times when I do. Some people I know claim to never remember theirs. My feeling is that the more I pay attention to something the more significance it can hold. Therefore paying deliberate attention is the best way to access my dreams more fully. Keeping a journal and pen by my bed to jot things down before the memories fade when I wake up is a good way to remember dreams. The more I do this the more likely it is that the memories of dreams will last. Like building up a muscle, it’s all about practice.
Gestalt therapy
People often think of Gestalt therapy as falling under the broader ‘umbrella’ of Humanistic therapy, and Gestalt certainly has a lot more to offer psychotherapy than ‘just’ dreams. The word Gestalt is German, and perhaps best translated as ‘pattern’ or ‘shape’. Gestalt therapy is interested in how we all ‘shape’ ourselves to the world, and what those adjustments may look and feel like. It’s a creative type of therapy using whatever arises to help the client gain broader awareness, including dreams. Like other Humanistic therapies, it’s relational. That means that in therapy I will be curious how the client talks about their dream, not just the content of the dream itself. For example, if they slump over or become animated during certain parts of the story, or if they rush through certain parts and take their time with others. Like other Humanistic therapies too, Gestalt is about expansion rather than contraction. We’re looking to increase awareness, recall the forgotten, and pay more attention to all aspects of self. I classify myself as a Humanistic therapist, so Gestalt forms a part of my practice.