Today we define anxiety as an emotion arising from an unknown or poorly understood threat. This is distinct from fear which arises from a specific and known threat. We may be anxious about uncertainty (e.g. the unknown of entering a new social situation), but afraid of certain things (e.g. an attacker). Walking through a park at night may cause anxiety relating to the imagined possibility of being attacked. However fear would be felt in response to an actual attacker.
This is not to downplay how awful anxiety can feel. The symptoms of anxiety and fear may be very similar, and may include: shortness of breath, fast heart rate, tension, panic attacks, nausea, shaking, sweating, feeling fluttery, uneasy, or restless. As the source of fear can be identified it heightens our awareness and prepares us to fight or flight. However the source of anxiety can be harder to pin down. This means it can paralyse our senses and leave us unaware of how to ease our symptoms.
Etymology
It can be useful to shine a light on the origins of a word like anxiety, in order to see it all the clearer. The word anxious means “greatly troubled by uncertainties,” from the Latin anxius “solicitous, uneasy, troubled in mind”. Or from angere “to choke, squeeze,” figuratively “to torment, or cause distress”. This itself derives from the Proto-Indo-European root angh meaning “tight, painfully constricted, painful”.
So anxiety is associated with tightness or constriction. It is often said that depression is anger turned inwards, but there may also be a link between anxiety and anger. The root word angh is also likely the origin of the term anger, with the Latin word angere meaning “to throttle or torment”. Perhaps anxiety is a feeling of being on the receiving end of another person’s anger, perceived anger, or internalised anger.
The terror and the terrorisor
If anxiety is being in terror, who is the terroriser when the threat is imagined? You may perceive yourself as a victim of anxiety, as if it just happens to you. However we all actively ‘do’ anxiety in our own way. You may time-travel in your head to worry about the future, tense your body, picture a bleak future for yourself, or try to do too much in too short a time. For this reason one way to think about anxiety is to imagine there are different parts of yourself, different voices. You could imagine an internalised victim, and an internalised terrorisor. What would each part say if given a voice?
An example from my own life. Sometimes sitting still to meditate my mind wanders to imagined threats. My internal victim would say: “What would happen if someone burst into this room, where could I run, where could I hide? I don’t feel safe.” My internal terroriser would say: “I am causing you worry for your own good, to prepare you for real threats, to protect you. You must stay alert, never relax”. Introducing a third voice, a rescuer, could speak to both. To the victim: “The real threats you used to experience have passed, you are safe now, and loved”. To the terroriser: “You have done a great job at protecting him, but see that the walls you have built are constricting him, hurting him.”
Diagnosis
We often talk about being anxious as if it is an identity, which is sometimes associated with a diagnosis. I would argue that even in the cases of diagnosis, anxiety is a temporary feeling, rather than a character trait. Diagnoses, like anxiety itself, can sometimes be restrictive. Two people with the same diagnosis can have different experiences of anxiety, although there will be aspects in common as well. Some will find great comfort from a diagnosis or label as a way to understand themselves, to be understood by others, and to help them navigate the mental health system. While a diagnosis may not always reflect everyone’s experience perfectly, it can help deepen our understanding of our own experience.
There is more information about ‘anxiety disorders’ on the NHS website. Counsellors do not diagnose mental health conditions, this would be done by a psychiatrist or psychologist. Some of my clients will have been given a diagnosis (e.g. Generalised Anxiety Disorder). My focus with them will be on what this diagnosis means to them, what their relationship is with that diagnosis, how helpful they find it, and so on.
Anxiety as a narrative
Some people will experience more anxiety than others at different times in their lives. Sometimes that experience will be extremely difficult. However “I have anxiety” is a story we tell ourselves. A story built from true experiences of course, but a story nonetheless. And our stories about ourselves can change, if we want them to. Even someone who experiences debilitating and regular anxious feelings will not be anxious all the time. We always have access to the present moment. While the meaning of anxiety can be defined through diagnoses and medical definitions, each of us has own our relationship with that feeling.
If you’re experiencing anxious feelings which are disrupting your life, then feel free to contact me for an initial session.